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New year, new perspective.  Let's share our ideas on how we get our kids to do chores.  Do you have special systems or charts?

christinefield 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Our kids don't get allowance unless it is connected to a finished chore.  They do each daily chore every day for five days and then get paid $1 per chore.  The younger two have 3 basic chores and get $3 per week.  One for saving, one for giving, one for spending.  The oldest, who is 9 and works like a horse for me,gets a dollar per chore plus extra money if he does extra stuff.  He has nine basic chores so he makes $9 per week.  It works pretty well for us.  Plus, it teaches them how to manage money and that they have to work to get money.

In our house we try to take the negative out of chores as much as possible.  Recently, my oldest (11) has been really complaining about having to do his chores.  He was beginning to act like unloading the dishwasher or taking out the trash would take him "forever"!  I decided to play a game with him to prove that the task he was being asked to do wouldn't really take that long.  I asked him to guess how many minutes it would take him to complete a task (IE unloading the dishwasher)  He predicted that it would take him 5 minutes (boy was that predication much different than the usual comeback "But Mom, it takes forever to do it! :)  So, we set the timer for 5 min. and he started the task...before he knew it he was done and the timer hadn't even gone off yet...he had 20 sec. to spare!  This really helped to put the time component of how long it really takes to do something in perspective.  We did the same with the other tasks that he is in charge of.  Once he realized that it really doesn't take "forever" he is complaining about it much less.

 We have also had a conversation with him about being a part of a team and he is a team player...we used the scenario of team players and football b/c he really enjoys the sport.  We explained that each player has a position to play and with that position come responsibilities.  The team has to work together (everyone doing their part) in order to win the game.  He understood that concept very well.  We really tried to build up the importance of his role in the "game". 

Over the years we have tried chore charts and rewards.  But nothing seems to have really made the ultimate difference in gaining cooperation and understanding as this conversation did!  Now whenever he procrastinates doing his chores we ask him who's team is he on?  And if we hear the "But Mom...it will take forever!" statement we just ask him how long do you think it will really take?  And then the timer gets set....he almost always surprises himself w/how fast it can get done and he now likes to compete with his personal best time for each task.  He realizes that 5 min's out of his day is really not too much time to play his position and help out the team a bit.  We  use a pt. system for each task completed. He earns points and at the end of the wk. he can exchange pts. for rewards/$. 

He is learning goal setting, life skills/responsibilities, time and $ concepts, as well as, learning the value of being a team player!  He has also realized that mom has more time on her hands to do special activities or just spend some extra time with him b/c we worked together to get the job done! 

 ~a

What about young children?  I have a 3 1/2 year old, who is extremely active, and changes her clothes about 15 times a day (trying on anything that is pink, frilly, sparkly, 'turns around' like Cinderella, or other exciting things she can find), and then leaves them around.  I tell her to pick them up and hang them back up which I sometimes help her with, but it's driving me crazy.  I also have a husband who leaves his socks and clothes everywhere....and now with a 3 month old baby, I feel like a maid more than anything else, especially since the dog is also shedding, it's really getting to me.  Has anyone else got suggestions?  quick and easy meals would also be most welcome.  The only one that I can think of is a baking dish with (uncooked) rice, lay on a couple chicken breasts, and pour over a couple cans of mushroom soup and bake in the oven.  The veggie finger food is a great suggestion, as is the crock pot idea.  Will have to see about buying one. 

Thanks!

Elsa

We started using a program by Dave Ramsey that teaches kids to manage money. My kids are 11 and 9. They now have charts on the fridge that tell how much money they have earned and/or saved. It also has a place to post a picture of something they are saving to buy. Then below it tells how much they need and how long it will take them to earn it. Another chart lists their chores and how much they get per chore. It's funny how much money can motivate a child that really wants a certain something! LOL They don't always do their chores, but most of the time they do a pretty good job because they want to see that savings grow for the new "whatever" they are saving for. It's not perfect, but they are doing better than they have in the past.

We have a ticket system in our house.  Chores are divided into morning, afternoon, and evening, and weekly.  All chores must be done, done well, and done w/o reminders in order to earn a ticket.  For example, when morning chores are done you get a ticket, when your weekly chore for the day (vacuum the bedrooms, for example) is done you get a ticket.  So there is potential to earn 4 tickets a day, plus there's always some extra chore that can be done for a ticket. The catch is that in order to watch 1/2 of TV or have 1/2 hour of computer time costs a ticket.  Going to a friend's house is 2 tickets, going to gymnastics requires 3 tickets, and so on.  No tickets, no privliges.  With my oldest we have had to resort to removing tickets because if by morning she had accumulated enough for gymnastics, her remaining chores became very low priority!!  It is working for us. 

Elsa, Toddlers and preschoolers can be challenging! I know, I have a 23 month old--the youngest of 4 children. He can make messes much faster than all the rest of us put together can clean them up! :-) Some things I have found to be helpful are: Limit the amount of clothing, toys, puzzles, books, etc. she has access to. Try sorting through the items and storing some away somewhere to rotate back into circulation in a month or so when you rotate the ones she is now using into storage. Give her a choice of two or three outfits when she gets dressed in the morning. Sometimes having a say about what she gets to wear for the day will help her to wear it for a longer time. Designate a certain time of day for "Dress Up." Set a timer for a half hour or so and let her change outfits as often as she likes, but when the timer goes off it is time to clean up and move to another (hopefully less messy) activity. While she is playing dress up take pictures or a video of her. Then put the pictures on the computer or a DVD (or in a scrapbook, if you have the time :-) and let her watch or look at them. This will prolong the fun without the mess. Make clean up time fun--set the timer again and play beat the clock, race against each other to put away a certain number of items, play music and dance around while you put things back where they belong. Be sure to set aside a period of time to spend with just the 31/2 year old each day. Having your undivided attention for a time can make the whole training process a bit easier. With a three month old you are probably a bit sleep deprived. Lower your standards a bit and resist the urge to clean up while your baby naps. Take some time for yourself each day--rest, sleep, drink a cup of tea, enjoy a good book. The messes our families make are much easier to handle if we aren't physically and emotionally burnt out. Try asking your husband for help. Don't whine. Don't accuse. Just honestly tell him, "Honey, I am finding that I have a hard time keeping the house cleaned up. I am teaching our children to put their things away when they are finished with them. Would it be easier for you to put your clothes in the hamper or in the laundry room after you take them off?" Sometimes our husbands don't realize that they are causing extra work for us and a little loving communication can help them to change. This post has gotten long enough. I'll add some quick meal ideas in another post in the next few days. Blessings! Paula Farris http://www.Less-Stress-for-Women.com

I like the ticket idea.  It's a good lesson, too!

I've adopted a card system.  My girls start the day with a small stack of cards that each have basic chores on them.  By the end of the day, all of their cards should be back in the box... if they still have it out, it still needs to be done.  I've really decided not to reward them with money for the chores that should be done around the house as being a member of this family.  BUT, if something comes up that they want... to see a movie, or get a toy, or a game, etc... I will be more likely to get that for them if they've consistantly done their chores.  Although, this week, my oldest has done the dishes and cleaned the kitchen after every meal for 3 days straight.  I jokingly asked her what she wants... She laughed and said maybe I could earn some money.  So, this morning, I gave her $3 for helping with dishes for 3 days.  She LOVED it!  I told her that she earned it for going above and beyond what I ask of her on a normal day.  My girls are also in charge of recycling.  I have 3 trashcans in the backyard for recycling.  One each for plastic, cans, and glass.  They're learning to help their environment by recycling and keeping that stuff out of the landfill and they are rewarded with the money for the recycling.  We just had a trip to the recycling center and they each earned $8 for their hard work.  

Whatever I do, it has to be consistent or it just won't work.

~Sarah

We have 3 children ages 8, 11, & 14. We decided to have a chart with cards that they can choose from. Each card holds a specific chore with the amount that they get for that chore. They have to wait for me to tell them which of our stack needs to be done, then they get to choose. They do get paid for the work, but we figure it is their choice if they want to do it or not. It is just an added bonus to get paid. I keep track of how much they earned during the week. They do always choose the chores, instead of just a base pay that we give them if they don't do much work. We do 25cents per year of age. Cheap, yes, but if they won't do the work, then why pay through the roof.

Relax...let his dirty socks sit there and pile up.  He will get the picture.  Go to McDonalds or something.  Your baby is only small once, please enjoy every mingoute.  This is a wonderful time.  Let your 3 year old pick out clothes for the baby.  Give her a doll baby(baby born) like your newborn baby. Then have her do what you do with your baby (changing, washing, clothing, feeding).  I guarantee she will start to understand your job!  She will love it too!  Also sounds like you need a dress up box.  We have a big one.  They throw everything out of it and make a mess, but then they just throw everything back in. I don't do anything ( no folding or sorting it is their thing).  When people give me dresses for my daughter or cowboy hats I just throw them in.  They also have some toys in there for props when playing make believe(first aid kit from the dollar store, plastic swords, baskets).  Almost all girls go threw this glamour phase just try not to give her to much attention, you don't want her to think all that matters is what you look like or what your wearing. Tell her how smart her outfit is and talk to her about style and what hers is, she is trying to figure it out.  Oh I also throw in some stuff from my husband and I 's closet.  They really love little purses and ties old jackets,gaudy beads ...

They learn dress themselves,  act out certain scenarios, even play shopping or store owner.  One day I came by and my daughter was my son's boss, he quit his job and went into business for himself. LOL

Hi, well we are trying a new tact for us.  I had read that the Amish, who are very community and family oriented, have a system in which if someone mis-behaves or doesn't do the work they are assigned to do, they are in effect "banished" for a specific period of time.  So that person still has to perform regular chores but are not allowed to participate in any family function or community function for the allotted time.  I don't think anyone is even allowed to speak to them.  At the end of their allotted time out, they are welcomed back with open and loving arms.  The purpose behind this is to emphasize to the person that in order to function within the community or family a certain level of behavior is expected and the "banishment" (my word) is to give them a taste note   being included. 

Not sure if my description was articulate enough.  However, we have just started trying this (modified) with our 6.5 yr old.  We don't tie chores to money.  Instead we stress being responsible within our family unit.  If he doesn't do what is asked or gives me crap about it, he is asked to go to his room where he is allowed to read for a specified period of time.  Ok, it sounds like a normal timet it is slightly different in our approach.  Also, he destroyed a part of the dining room table cover with his pencil.  We dealt with the reason for his frustration and then addressed the consequences as such; he had a list of chores to perform to make amends.  Until his chores were completed (they took him 2 days), he wasn't allowed to play with  friends or eat with the family.  He had to hang out in his room.  It really seemed to drive the point home.  We stressed to him of course that we still loved him no matter what but now that he was getting older, he has to take more responsible for being a member of our family.    Daily and weekly chores are part of the business of being a family. 

As to allowance, he will start getting one when he learns (and he is very close) about money value.  So he has a big motovation to learn about money.

 

This reminds me of a method I used once with one of my sons.  It was housecleaning day.  Our plans were to clean the house thouroughly all morning and then meet some friends at the park for lunch.  We were going to buy lunch at a fast food place to eat at the park.

One of my children simply would not work that morning.  I reminded him several times about what he needed to finish before we left, but he just wouldn't do his chores.  When it became apparent that he did not have enough time to finish them I reminded him of the Bible verse that says, "If a man does not work, he does not deserve to eat" and left him alone.

When we went to get our lunch I ordered food for my other children and myself and also ordered soda (a special treat.)  At the park I set out the food for my children and myself and when I came to this son I gave him a piece of bread and a bottle of water and reminded him again of the Bible verse. 

His chores were finished before dinnertime!  And I never had to use that method again.

Blessings!

Paula Farris

http://www.StressFreeFamilyTravel.com